Then … have just come to learn of Jagjit Singh, that famous ghazal singer, to have had a sudden brain hemorrhage and is critical in hospital. A man with a silken voice, effortless and so endearing in all the most important and popular renditions of his. May he recover fast. He has had a traumatic life after the death of his only son at a very young age in a rash driving accident.

And … the night before was not too comfortable for me, with my pain. The night before was better, but last night was a disturbed one. So early morning before setting off to shoot I spoke to the doctor and he advised we do an X-Ray after my return from work. Work finished by 10 PM but the doctor appointment remained. He had a change of direction and felt we should do a Ct Scan instead. So off to Nanavati and under the scanner and out of it in minutes and now confirmed … there is a fracture in the rib .. albeit hairline. It cannot be given any treatment, for, such ailments are left to heal on their own and this one shall be no exception. That takes care of the next 3-4 weeks because that is the recognized healing period. Bear the pain and that is it… Damn !!

But at the shoot there seemed to be no problem. Its a song and dance sequence and that went off quite well. Well from the point of view of the ailment that I carry. Whether creatively it is satisfying shall only be known when you see it !!

Sometimes it is such a joy to do your own bit without it being choreographed. And that is exactly what the situation demanded. Freaking out !! And that too on 5D cameras … you never can tell in them where they shall be capturing the movement. Tomorrow again at the same location and hope it is the end of my work in the film - a small cameo as a guest appearance for Ram Gopal Varma’s ‘Department’ !!

There is something about cleaning up !! Like cleaning up your desk ; the extra paperwork, the objects merely put aside on the table with the intent of attending to it someday. Wrong ! Attend to it now at this moment, finish with it and do away. Staying with it for any length of time shall merely help you store greater stuff really unwanted. Is there not a lesson in life here !!

The hot water bottle has become my greatest companion for the last two days and with the results of the ct scan it looks like I shall stay with it much longer than I had imagined. Its such a useful element in the house. And from the time I realized the difference between hot and cold, the hot water bottle has never undergone any change in size or shape. It has been like this for donkeys years. The winter in Allahabad and Delhi are distinct reminders of it. If you were lucky and good, the only bottle in the house, for, that was only what we could afford, would move around from person to person in the family, to give comfort in the biting cold. Usually we would desire it inside our beds, to warm up the sheets before we sneaked into it and felt the bite of the cold on the white cotton sheets. But stomach aches, pains of the muscle, fermentation and ‘amrit dhara’.

So how many of you remember ‘amrit dhara’, that bitter curative drops of all ailments from indigested food to the pulled calf muscle. A couple of drops of that reddish liquid from a reddish bottle, on to spoon full of sugar and … a swift intake and that was it … never a problem ever again. Now its different !

I wish to spend more time with you .. but I know I would be damaging my rib even further .. so I retire !

Amitabh Bachchan