A friend mentioned about the joy of being with her sisters children the other day. They were aged 4yrs and another perhaps a year older. I wrote back to say how wonderful it was to be able to spend time with the innocence of children. A pity that they shall soon lose it to this corrupt world as they grow older. I got a response that I now share with all -

‘Innocence, despite its beauty, is not a virtue. Losing innocence is not a pollutive realization of an objectively corrupt world: it is the gaining of the insight that one is burdened with the gift of moral choice.’

I thought it to be beautiful enough to share and so I do.

But the beauty of those wonderful words have no reflection on my painful condition. The doctors dutifully came. They checked and assessed. And concluded that it was a cervical ailment, due either to the strain of posture, or strain of slumber.

Dia thermal treatment, where electronic pads heat up the area and penetrate through vibrations was recommended as were some physio exercises of the neck and the back. No medication and a big yes to rest.

Most of the morning went in understanding the problem and allowing opinion to be assuaged on my condition. My timing for the shoot has gone haywire as has my timing for my lunch and other office work that I undertake in the mornings after the gymnasium.

It is RANN and it is Ram Gopal Varma and it is the last day of the shoot for the film. And after due preparation, appear on set and accomplish perhaps the longest shot that I may have done in my career - 13.5 mins of film in one single shot, alone, one take, cut and wrapped and out of studio. The crew applauded. Which is rather odd, especially for a RGV production. I panged in embarrassment, got to my van, changed and left. Make up still on face.

The business of life is strange and mysterious. The studio where we work is Filmistan. I used to train it from Church Gate to this location every day for a week. Walk from Goregaon station to the gates of the studio, get intimidated by the guards that stood outside and walked back to the train to come home ; unable to meet a probable director or producer that may consider to employ me in a film of his. This is 1969-70. I had met Shashi Kapoor informally at a social gathering earlier. He asked me to drop by where he was working. This was where he had asked me to come - Filmistan Studios. And the floor he was working at was the very floor I had just completed my rather extended take for RANN. Those days it was a recording area. Mr Shashi Kapoor was dubbing for a film made by one of the most prominent directors of the time. Gingerly I had walked into the studio and come to the door of this recording area and peeped into the small glass opening to attract the attention of my host. What I got soon after was not an invitation to come in, but a rude reprimand from the producer and asked to be shown the gates.

The business of life is strange and mysterious !!

My pain today is rather more acute than other days. I wonder if it was wise to have taken doctors consultations.. ha.. ha !! But the treatment has begun - the dia-thermy and the physio and hopefully there shall be improvement. Someone suggested in the comments, perhaps Rochelle ( I sense a few envious remarks as I mention her name again ) that it was time to change my slim pillow ! But you know something - it is perhaps because of its absence recently from my bed that is causing the pain. So ’slim’ is back today and we shall see in the morrow what results it brings.

Back at home it is a quick change and wash to travel back to a function to honor Resul Pookutty, our very own Oscar’ed sound engineer on ‘SlumDog’. The Western India Sound Engineers Association had organized an evening of flowers and speeches and decoration to acknowledge his great achievement, of which we in the Industry and indeed the entire country had been so proud of. Resul had worked with me on ‘Black’ and other films too. A gentle and soft spoken man unassertive, yet committed to his profession and almost grinding to a halt with embarrassment on his recent International achievement. Very sweetly and self consciously he had brought along to the function all his recent awards - the Oscar, the Bafta, the Guild and was proudly narrating to me how he could now follow his name with the initials C.A.S, depicting Cinema Audio Society, a decoration much like the B.A or an M.A degree.

I am at the end of my patience because of the neck sponge collar, that they have asked me wear when I am involved with the computer. It tears into my skin and causes me discomfort. That is not something that one would, in my condition, want to prolong.. so.. with heavy heart and an even heavier neck.. I beg your leave..

May the Gods be with you and yours.. endlessly..

Love and more,

Amitabh Bachchan