Remember the song.. from the 60’s.. anyone get it..??

Ok.. perhaps a little to ancient for most.. had great rhythm and beat. We used to dance to it in the newly discovered ’shake’. Gosh… really going back so so long ago… feel a little embarrassed..

Anyway, for most it will probably be an aberration to think of those times. But you know, times never let you forget what you experienced and what remained in our minds and thoughts and deeds..the situation, the people that connected then, the atmosphere… great stuff just thinking about it.. those memories never fade away..

Thank you all for your heart warming wishes on Father’s Day and for responding to the poll on the same. I do believe that keeping a special day aside for such moments is not necessary. We remember our Father’s and Mother’s every day, every moment. They brought us into the world, they gave us our basics and beliefs. They taught us the values of life and brought to us the answers that we never understood. Even as we advance in age and claim to be knowledged and experienced, we still have the tendency to revert back to them. When we lose them we always first consider, what they would have done in the circumstances that we now seek answers for, or find ourselves in. We carry their genes and body structure. We carry their mannerisms and actions at times. When we conduct ourselves we find others noticing the conduct of our parents in us. We imbibe what they excelled in. We seek their blessings at each step. When alive we show respect to them. In our culture and in conservative India, we walked behind them and touched their feet in reverence every day before starting the day. We do it even now. In a room with elders the children listened. Many in modern circumstances do not smoke or drink in front of them. If an elder walked in to a room unannounced and the matured progeny, in their own company, were smoking or having a drink, they would discreetly hide it behind their backs till the elder left the room. If he stayed on longer the cigarette was snuffed out and the drink discarded. Many still practice this even in modernized and a more liberal society. Sanjay Dutt is one who never fails to put away his drink or his cigarette if I were to suddenly walk into his company. It is the respect that he has been brought up with for the elders, that he demonstrates.

With Mother’s life was a little different. The respect remained, but the relationship was one of a deep and sincere friend. You told everything to your Mother. Your first girl friend to your first drink. She you bullied when you desperately wanted something from the Father and were too petrified to ask him. She was your advocate, your social advisor, your cover up agent… everything. She was your ultimate trust machine. You never hid anything from her. Primarily because of your faith in her, but more because even if you never told her, she had the capability to know. Mother’s have this extra sensory power. You could, try as hard as you may, never be able to lie in front of her. One look at our faces and she knew what was going on in our heads. And she was never wrong !!

The modern generation however is at an advanced stage of independence and liberty. They treat their peers as one of them - yes, back slapping buddies, separated at birth through some weird ManMohan Desai film script, now brought together through the discovery of a misplaced ‘locket’ ! Ha ! I do not have issues with that. Before my son was born I had decided that he would be my friend first and then my son. That he treats me similarly, but never ever forgets who he really is is his decision; is his respect. I shall admire that quality in him, so long as he doesn’t go beyond swiping the odd jeans or sneakers from me !! Ha Ha.. But so long as we can have a private laugh on some of Mom’s antics, we are ok. God help us though, if Mom comes to know what we are all about !!

So cheering and keeping track of the Lakers or the Chelsea game, the latest action movie, or what tie to select for a particular suit, is within our limits of sameness. Why, when he was in School we even had similar tastes on some of the models that walked the ramp on Fashion TV !! And mock mourned the day when we learnt that she had got married !!

Yes.. Fathers and sons… sons and Mother’s… a great relationship. And one that needs to be protected and admired and revered… all at the same time.

Daughters, is a different ball game altogether. It is only protection and submission. Whenever there is need for the Father to be approached, everyone will turn to Shweta, knowing that when she asks, the Father will never refuse. They are recognized weaknesses for the Father. And I shall not hold any respect for those Father’s that do not comply with this thought or maltreat or ignore their existence. How any Father can be so ruthless in disrespect for them, is incomprehensible for me. They are the female gender, they bring life into the world. As daughter’s, they be with you for a limited period of time - 20, 25 years. And then through marriage, leave you and adopt and acquire another home another parent as in laws and devote their sincerity to this nest that they build all over again in fresh surroundings. It is the one most difficult task that every married woman, daughter, sister goes through. And just for this act, among many others, they deserve the highest respect and honor.

And then one day they become Mother’s. And the cycle starts again.

Indian mythology in its many tales and wise stories has this very well known one -

During a dispute with his Mother, the son kills her and mercilessly cuts her into pieces. As he walks away from her body, he trips over her heart that lies there and falls. The Mother still breathing her last asks her son - ” I hope you did not not get hurt !”

That is what Mothers mean to us, as must they should.

My film ‘BaghBaan’ was made from this very simple but relevant philosophy. The Father holds the childs’ little hand and guides him as he learns to walk. Will this same child hold the hand of the Father when he grows old and needs assistance to walk ?

”TEW BRING UP A CHILD IN THE WA HE SHOULD GO - TRAVEL THAT WA YOURSELF”

Ibid., ch.78 Bible , Old testament : Proverb 64

My love for you in abundance -