Chijmes !! The location for the shoot this morning. It is an old Church, kept in all its finery but no images of the Gods, no images of the cross, no images of Jesus. The stained glass windows brighten up the white interiors as the sunlight hits them and a camera and production crew gets organized for the days work. Nikhil of Shantanu & Nikhil fame has flown down from Delhi with a stockpile of elegant clothing and with great precision and manly grace dresses me up. Production lines up all the peripherals and almost on the dot of the appointed hour the first shot rolls on the digital high end HD camera, strangely called, RED. They say its results are as close as technology can get in the digital world, to film. The only problem being that the zoom lenses used do not blur the background if the subject is in close up. I spend a substantial amount of time with Alan the DOP, a Singaporean, trying to understand the merits and demerits of these sophisticated equipments and when I fail to understand, Mehul the director of the promotional takes over. His animated description lasts a little longer than Alan’s, but with the same end result. I haven’t a clue of what they were talking about ! It is best therefore that I leave RED behind and switch to other more unambiguous topics, acceptable, justifiable and defensible - my dialogues !

The lines are colloquial modern, comfortable to the palette and those that when spoken, bring a smile of approval from all except the local crew, quite obviously. We could be speaking Greek for all they cared. There are other noticeable, dull, non committal reactions too. In particular from ray ban glassed gentlemen heading the PR team, but then he has been like that for some days now, so he needs to be excused.

Work moves on at an easy pace, even with shifting locations within the church premise. Restaurants and exclusive eating spots abound inside this complex, people lounging about in different corners of this large expanse with immense touristy zeal and some actually taking an interest in the shoot by walking in to the frame and remaining there thinking this to be part of the entertainment that the complex was providing.

It was sync sound today and since most EF had a overdose of it from last night’s blog, it would be completely unethical to elaborate on that an instant more. The recordist was a friendly and efficient local with spiked Chinese beard and metal bolts through his chin and tongue. I expressed dismay at his condition and wondered why he would put himself through this exorcism, I mean, dash it, apart from making himself more vulnerable to being electrocuted, there was always the aspect of it being accidentally pulled off or getting stuck to material that would painfully rip it away from skin. He seemed unmoved by the argument, instead, he nonchalantly began to describe how some of his mates of the opposite gender, had indulged in building more metal into their systems lower down in their anatomy. At which point I mock announced that lunch had been laid and moved away !!

Even though there were no prayers that were being held within the church, the space was used often for meetings and weddings and other social activities. A music concert, a play and sorts.

I was immediately reminded of that huge cathedral in manhattan New York, abandoned and devoid of any religious activity, and functioning now as a night club, where the entire insides were one big dance floor, surrounded by weirdly dressed individuals, if they can be called that, dancing to deafening discotheque music. I wonder if it still functions. Places like this and the famous Studio 54 have a limited life. They become the in spots when first developed and then soon fade away with time as trends change.

Trends change, habits and fashion change, life changes and before long we all change. As age wears us away, that early morning look in the bathroom mirror announces with great alacrity our actual state. It is as honest an image that you shall ever see and it is this image that compels one to understand how far we have come. Those moments spent alone with our honest and naked condition are most valuable in demarcating our next course of action. It is here that we learn to accept ourselves the way we are, before we pad ourselves with all the falseness of modern existence. As we step out from this condition we begin the most self centered ritual of hiding our inadequacies, covering up our ineptitude, decorating our assets, and becoming eventually another being from the one that we saw earlier in the mirror.

All mankind has something to hide from the reality of that morning look. Those that disagree from this, lie to themselves - a lie that carries the burden of being dishonest to oneself.

I think being dishonest is not a very uncommon trait. Many of us possess this unique skill and use it generously, albeit in a controlled capacity. But when we become dishonest with ourselves we destroy somewhere the very reason we were brought to exist.

I would endeavor to be honest with myself. I would not want to scream it from every rust laden cement deprived column in the city. I may not subject to others its truth, but so long as I know that from within, I believe I would breathe better.

Taking in a deep breathe before turning in ~

Amitabh Bachchan