I have been with my Father the entire day ! 27th November 2009 he would have been 102 years ! Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan organises ‘Bachchan Sandhya’ on the 28th at their own auditorium off Chowpatty. Pushpa Bharti, wife of the late Dharam Vir Bharti another eminent poet and for a considerable time editor of Dharmyug, the Hindi magazine out of the Times Group, shall co host the evening. She shall be the sutradhar, I the executer of the works of my Father. A set of carefully chosen poems have been compiled for rendition and there shall be enough for all the members of the family to participate in them. ‘Madhushala’ in a freshly designed form shall be released containing both the original and the English translation side by side, illustrated as I had spoken earlier, by some paintings done by Namrata my niece.

The morning has been spent in revising the works and distributing them to others to familiarize themselves with. And each word and expression that crosses my lips, brings within me the enormity of his writings. The depth of his thought, the ease of his expressions and the intensity of his emotions. It has been wisely said that the true worth of a writer is only understood and valued after they have left this world. Most creative recognition has always come, after the creator has passed away. It must be and is indeed the most hopeless situation that admirers of literary works have never had occasion to sit beside the genius of talent, to learn, question and understand the true value and reason for their renditions. I think sometimes they deliberately avoid this situation.

“Let those that admire and have faith in the true value of my work, struggle to discover meaning and reason on their own. Let me test their ability to ascertain my intent. I will not give in so easily, that which has been rendered after such extreme condition and cause.”

….would perhaps have been their refrain if we had the ability to hold their reactions. And as we struggle to acclimatize ourselves with the delicate intricacies of their writing, we reflect upon the absolute mastery and wonder what and how they, the creators could be so gifted in isolation. Gifted is right, for such genius can only be a gift from Him, He that makes us and puts within us the great talent, now recognizable to an entire world.

I had opportunity. Once. With my Father. He had been operated for a hernia at the then Willingdon Hospital in Delhi. I was beginning to start off my life here in Mumbai. On learning of his condition, I swiftly went across to Delhi. I think ‘Zanjeer’ had released or was about to be released. Velvet jackets were just beginning to be fashionable ; look how with time they became fashionable again some 10 years ago. Akbar from Kachins then, now Gabbana after they moved away from the original, had always kept me abreast of what was and what was not in the field of dress and design. He had stitched me jackets in some volume for me. I say all this because I remember distinctly that I had worn a green velvet jacket as I walked apprehensively through the almost colonial like corridors of the facility to my Father’s room. Finding him confined to bed was a sight that had eluded me. It was disturbing to see him in that condition. He, who had always maintained good principles of routine and health, now driven to a hapless state. He, who had through his own will and strength, on discovering a patch of Tuberculosis on his lungs when he was much much younger, found a home made cure and treatment for it, simply because he never had the money to get to a hospital and worse to be able to afford a treatment.

Dipping his entire body in a tub of water and rubbing vigorously his stomach beneath it, he had found a cure for TB and within months he was up and about.

I spent entire days by his side in those times and in order to keep his mind occupied would bring across his books and seek explanation. I made little notes as time passed within him, and I lament today because those notes and the books of his works on which I spent a great amount of time, have disappeared from my horizon. A regret I shall always be disturbed by when we begin to collect his memorabilia.

So yes I did get those opportunities but floundered them and today when I need them the most, I struggle to get them from somewhere, anywhere. Surely their longevity shall remain and we shall not have to struggle with the waves in order that their beauty be understood. But how wonderful it would be to be in possession of manuscripts and explanations from their mouths so to say and give meaning to their works, before the event is upon us and the matter is sunk too.

It shall now never happen, I know, but stopping for a while to ponder on it shall remain an obsession. And so with heavy heart and mind, we may have saved several items and ideas, but the basics of poetry writing or of prose.

Shah Rukh has remained with me in the late afternoon. Exchanging phone calls on the invite for the premier. He is a very funny man and shakes me into joviality when I inform him of the premier and his absolute presence their. He tells me ‘he is already there’, black suited and with anticipation of seeing ‘PAA’. Aamir too communicates today and confirms his presence. Slowly but surely the jig saw puzzle will begin to unfold. The test of all our hours and hours of effort at the film shall now be up for scrutiny. And within 2 hrs and 14 mins the verdict shall be passed. Once passed, shall remain passed. Such is the destiny of those that participate in this wondrous game of film making ….

Sleep !!

Amitabh Bachchan