Time designated for rumination and reflection last night was consumed by the necessities of slumber, it being the preferred choice after a long and ‘blue’ 3D experience.

‘Avatar’ started a bit late at the preview and it being a 2hr 40 min saga took time to finish. A spectacular visual treat of proportions never seen before, but after a while one missed the humans.

The messages of praise and exuberance keep pouring in for Paa and I continue to wonder how this ignored and ‘not given much chance of a film’ has reversed the expectations. People from all walks of life, young and old, from varied professions have all sent in but just one excited reaction.

It is a film that has not followed any given and tested pattern. It is a film that seems to be running on some divine intervention. Any other given trade norm has failed to explain the way it is behaving. And when an episode such as this occurs, one begins to tabulate why and how it occurred. Invariably all the arguments keep falling in line with faith and belief and divinity and fate. For, when there is insufficient answer, the human mind traverses areas which have reason and explanation only with the sub normal.

Perhaps we give far too much credit to the product. Perhaps we give far too much credit to the worth of the masses. Perhaps we give far too much credit to divinity itself !! But whatever the reason or credit, it has been an experience that has defied many.

On seeing the first copy of the film when it came out, I drove home with great apprehension on its worth. I confided in Balki my feelings. ” Do you think we have made a mistake with this film ?” I had asked. ” I feel we will not make it, I do not think it will work !”, had been my sms to him late into the night. And Balki in his usual calm self had remarked “We did what we had to do, now just leave it. I have a strong feel for this film, trust me Amit ji and go to sleep ” he had assured me.

What was it that gave him that sense of assurance - the progeria look, the single Mother angle, Auro’s friends, the effort of the child in uniting his parents, the wit and charm of Auro - or was there something more that none of us could see. Would the FmXt send in their opinion and analysis ? Or would it be better as a poll question. We haven’t done anything about it for a while, have we ? So the poll it shall be.

There is a thing about cleaning up. Cleaning up your cupboard, your work desk, areas ignored through constraints of time and many more. The act for some reason beams as a beacon almost. Symbolically one feels relieved of all the evil within that may have been cleaned up. A disorder restored. A lightness in the muddled head. Eyes wider open and the speech clearer controlled and less belligerent than before. One wishes that this state remain forever. It is a generous state. But it never does. One has to keep cleaning up all the time.

I cleaned up my place yesterday. Old documents, letters, work related communication now having no value, and with each object that went through the process, a lifetime of existence passed by. With each old association that you open, the desire to remain with it persists. You think back and remember, often with great fondness, those moments that gave rise to what you may now hold as remnants of the past. Fascinating !!

A few more lifetime achievement awards are on the anvil and people associated with it come by to insure that I shall attend and receive. It has become embarrassing for those that put up these events to witness absence of artists, absence of decorum and discipline and absence of any kind of order. A lot of this shall follow now with the year ending rewards to be picked up and functions being organized on a lavish scale . There shall be the usual speculation of who shall get what and why. Comparisons shall be made, speeches will follow along with heart burn and disappointment for those that shall miss recognition. Jubilation shall envelope those that win.

For me though … the expression of acceptance with my extended family shall be all that I shall strive for … and hope …

You are my best reward !! So help me God !!

Amitabh Bachchan