I may be in possession of the greatest riches in the world. I may be in possession of the greatest opportunities in the world. I may be in possession of the greatest wisdom that exists in the world. But .. if I do not have myself … I have nothing …

I may be the poorest of the poor. I may have nothing in material gain. I may have no knowledge. But … if I do not have myself … I have nothing …

If I cannot put to use the material gain. If I cannot put to use my lack of opportunity to attain opportunity, then … I am and have nothing !!

At the end of the day it is only the ‘I’ that shall strive for betterment. It is only the ‘I’ that shall attempt to achieve and overcome, it is only the ‘I’ that shall face the turmoil, take the decisions, face the accolades and the abuse. ‘I’. Nothing more, nothing less.

There will be support. There will be friends and well wishers and family and its extended avataar. But eventually it will be just the ‘I’ that shall prevail in the end. I shall have to do, I shall have to suffer, I shall get the appreciation and love, I shall prosper, I shall fail. I.

Such an important word, I. Can we ever do without it ? I do not know … see … used ‘I’ again ha haa !!

Royal Lancaster Hotel, last night still remains with me. We had come to London for the climax, a luxury then, because we wanted to shoot helicopter sequences and we were not getting the permission to do so in India. Action and stunt coordinators from foreign lands were unheard of till ‘Sholay’ and thereafter became a necessary addition to every production after ‘Sholay’. Until, our own boys from the action world in Mumbai, learnt the ropes and the tricks and the equipments and the technology.

The spring boards used to gain height when making jumps, the sponge paddings for the knees and elbows, the extra support for the spine when doing falls, the cardboard boxes for the soft landings, wire pulls for horse rider falls and a host of other tricks, all tested and experimented with for the first time in ‘Sholay’. And then a long association with stunt coordinators and among them Jerry Crampton, the most affable, kind, generous friend. Last saw him at Selfridges, waving out from the audience gathered for the celebration month dedicated to Indian Cinema in the store some years ago. How time flies and how it changes perspectives and deeds and acts.

Unaware of the presence of these facilities that existed to ease our lives and I daresay our bodies during action work, I wonder what would have been the state of our structures had we not had the benefit of the coordinators from England at the time. Now of course Indian Cinema has gone ballistic in its resources and we have the best from all over the world working on our projects, and with exceptional results.

The Royal Lancaster again and the joy and fulfillment of taking my parents to Oxford to meet, Marjorie Boulton, the academician that had translated my Father’s ‘Madhushala’ in the 50’s. A soft spoken, cherubic lady now aged a bit, but full of love for India and my father’s writing. Her cosy little home full of little objects d’ arts and of course books. She loved Indian food and we took her to one such, and then perhaps the only, Indian restaurant in Oxford. The ‘gulab jamuns’ at the end of the meal being her favorite. I have no news of her now. Or maybe I did. My memory fails me. Driving my parents there and back had been a moment of great happiness. Happiness to observe the look of great delight and satisfaction for my Father, who was returning to his days in Cambridge and England in 1952-54 after more than 25-30 years !! The times and environment then, the times and environment now. His struggles then with meagre resources, my joy now in providing him gainful facility. Nothing in the world compares with the satisfaction a child derives when he provides for his parents. We live and strive for this one moment in life ; when we can through our own ability and strength, give to them that brought us into this world, the very best we can. To comfort and support them. To look after them. To rid them of any old age anxiety. To care and provide them with every need of life. To give them the joy of companionship and family. To live and exist under their leadership as the head. To seek their blessings each day before we set out and to come back for it, after an achievement. To just sit beside them and hold their hand. Giving them the reassurance of our presence and love and to receive from them that soft touch of their divine presence.

Gone from our lives now, physically, but in our hearts forever, with their blessings and love.

I travel now back to my soil. For tomorrow, there is another recognition in Delhi, by NDTV for their Indian of the Year Awards, acknowledging the sizable number of years of their existence and acknowledging those that strung along in the world of the country, in various capacities, along with them.

And ‘I’ string along my love with you … that is my truest award !!

Amitabh Bachchan