My appearance may be in keeping with the temperament that a new object infuses in me, but what does it do for those that fail to accept it and have succumbed. There are many that have given up, resigned from life, abstract, still and allowing it to take over. I would imagine they too live a life. A life which they have chosen according to their standards. But everyone need not follow that. Life does allow one to take off on a tangent. Sometimes it brings a tangential difference !!

At the Filmfare Awards, when Mumbai Mirror had not appeared, the affable editor Jitesh Pillai had asked me if I would give the Lifetime achievement Award to Shashi Kapoor and I had agreed. With great pleasure. I missed that more than the the expectation of winning the best actor award. Seeing him confined to a wheel chair, was something I could never associate with Shashi ji.

Shashi Kapoor, that handsome gentle man. A smile on his face forever. A considerate calling on each meeting, now in this condition ? Never !!

He had pulled me out of a scene in his film where I, because I was hungry and did not have the money to feed myself, had taken the job of an ‘extra’ a junior artist, in the film where he played the hero. It was a James Ivory - Ismail Merchant film, ‘Shakespearewala’. A funeral scene was being picturised at the sea rocks off Bandra Band Stand. I took up an offer to be part of the crowd that had come to mourn the death of the ‘Hero’ Shashi Kapoor ; part of the funeral party. He was not supposed to be there at the shoot - the scene was his funeral !! But he was there and he spotted me. Came up, pushed me out of the crowd, chided me with “Are you mad ! You have bigger things in store for you, don’t do this ” and walked away. Later I believe he had that entire scene edited from the film. Professionally then, we came face to face much later in ‘Deewar’. He had always been an endearing friend before, primarily because of the relations our respective parents had, but now he had become a benefactor. At social get togethers he was always that considerate polite and effervescent host. When I was living with Mehmood Bhai much later, his brother and my dear friend Anwar, my colleague in my first film Saat Hindustani, used to pinch Mehmood Bhai’s car and go off for drives. He had a blood red colored Jaguar sports, the classic, and Annu and I would pretend to be these stars out on a limb, purely because of what we were driving. Many would gather around us when we hit the road in this convertible with the roof off, only to be disappointed by its inmates on closer examination - ” Arre ye toh hero nahin hai yaar, koi zero hai !! “. This is no hero, its some zero !

We would enjoy those rants as much as we did the fresh breeze that swished passed us on Marine Drive, as we rambled along in the late evenings. One such evening, we had a visitor. Well not exactly a visitor, a passing visitor. It was Shashi ji in his newly bought Mercedes and he had crept up on us from behind at great speed and in trying to back wheel us had accidentally moved in too close and … bang ! Off came his bumper, clanging along as a separate piece on the road. We had helped him pick it up and he drove off without a complaint. I believe he had walked in to his house with the bumper in his hand and proclaimed to his astonished wife Jennifer - ” A gift darling, from Amitabh and Annu ” .

Film after film we did together, Shashi ji and I, and shared some of my most memorable times together in the Industry. He is now my relative. His elder brother, the great Raj Kapoor’s daughter Ritu’s son Nikhil is married to Shweta. I spoke to him on his birthday some days ago and then again when I wanted to invite him to the premier of Paa. He had sounded weak in voice and expressed his inability to come. ‘I am not well’ , he had whispered faintly and I told him I would arrange a special screening for him. But I had never expected him to be the way I saw him at the Award function in the pictures a few days back.

Deewar, Trishul, Namakhalal, Shaan, Suhaag, Kala Patthar, Do aur Do Panch, Kabhi Kabhie, … just an endless list of such wonderful films … never to come back again !

The American Counsel General paid a visit to my humble abode this morning to talk about Haiti and the devastation there, and how we could come together to help and assist the citizens of Haiti in coping with this disaster. Approximately 300,000 dead ! As humans we must all be concerned when fellow humans are in distress and whatever can be done in this direction would be helpful. Government of India backing and media support would be most appropriate to urge us on and one hopes that that is possible.

Abhishek and Shweta meanwhile have had a most awesome and wonderful ‘darshan’ at the Golden Temple in Amritsar. They were allowed to spend almost an hour inside the complex and Abhishek even did some ‘kar seva’, by cleaning up the premise, and washing the dishes at the ‘langar’. There were two other prominent gurudwaras that they visited and were ecstatic about their visit. It is always such a joy to see children putting their minds to faith and devotion. Nothing would give me greater joy and nothing I believe could be better than their achievement in belief and prayer.

God’s blessings to all … in love and in more …

Amitabh Bachchan