Depression !! The deepest of depressions !! India lost miserably to Australia in the T20 World Cup match today and shall now have to win both its remaining games to make it to the semi finals. Just such a bad game, where nothing went right. We were hammered by the Ozzies ! Barring one Rohit Sharma, all else were just a bunch of raw meat butchered in the stalls. The Australians on the other hand were a well oiled machine and played magnificently. Now, greater apprehensions for the remaining games for India, because there will be the added pressure of winning to remain in the tournament. Really sad. It seemed as though there was no desire to win, just a very weak effort by all. Would take a while to rub this one off !!

Abhishek and Bahu Rani came back this morning and it was a joy to see them after such a long gap. But the joy is limited. Tomorrow they go off again to some more exotic lands for their work. But when they are with us, it is fun to catch up on their talk and to inform them of ours.

Some funny sms, from my friend Ram Gopal Varma throughout the day, kept me in splits and with some sense of awareness. I think it would not be prudent to air them here at this sensitive moment in the lives of the country, and so I shall abstain.

The technical gentleman from Paris that shall be managing the Champs Elysees ballet theatre performance of my Father’s poems has come over to discuss creatives and we went through the entire routine. Now the butterflies jump and comes that moment in the day, when a reality check is being conducted and you find yourself fearing the outcome of failure.

No ! I cannot give details of what transpired before every film that I did, and other stories, because that would mean a betrayal of sorts with the contract. A breach would land me in an area that was far from reality. I would never want that to happen. Hopefully there shall be some solution to this issue. Maybe when the broadcasts have taken place, I could perhaps do another very personal version which could remain with as my personal copyright, to be shared and relished perhaps with those that remain close to me, viz., the FmXt !!

Oh dear, depressions are bad, irrespective of what the circumstances be. They pull you down the moment competition or rivalry comes and takes charge. At times it is a joy to just be part of an ensemble animal farm, with nothing to do, except to live to see these two canine friends for example, and allow them, with due respect of course, the freedom that they most relish and have relished ever.

A depressively depressive state for the common man, can manifest itself into something that could be undesirable to others. And we who pride ourselves in the image of the modern man, surrounded and pickled by that one electric bulb, or state of the art electricity, we sometimes forget, the meagre existence of the less privileged. We worry and be upset over issues that perhaps never even come for consideration in the eyes of the lesser. He or she worries about his or her next meal. We reprimand when our food is inadequately cooked.

They live under the benefit of a broken, leaky, roof. We .. spend hours of effort to make our ceiling be as colorful and decorative as possible. And on …

Our worries are for the absence of commerce or luxury. But they .. have never seen either commerce or luxury..

How then does one measure the extent and the length and breath of our depression. It pales into nothingness when it is looked at from the other perspective. I shall tell you how. You just thank your lucky stars, your fate and your destiny. There are no physical incomprehensible attributes for one and not for the other. Humans are structured alike.

Why then this deliberate attempt at division and dislike. Divided we fail and also fall. Some of us shall get up and fight our way back. But there shall be several that shall perhaps succumb to the divide, succumb to the differences and lie back in submission, never ever then to be able to rise to an occasion.

Some Government officers came across to educate me on the population growth world wide and also in the region where we exist. They were most alarming. They wish that I join a campaign to create awareness. I do hope that I can contribute to this cause, for it has been observed in the past that the effort made in this direction, has often been taken as a design to create all the wrong awareness !!

So I tell the officials, save the issue, leave me and my vulnerability out of it. When I am not desired why unnecessarily allow me to cause harm to a perfectly noble cause. For at the end of the tale that is what shall transpire.

Alternatively, let them get clearance first from the institution and the clearance for me as well. My undesirability in the recent past raised many eyebrows and caused anxiety to others. May those that doubt be spared this ordeal. Overlook me. I am but nobody and nothing. I can always be done away with. Not the issue. That must be saved and protected at all costs.

And so it shall … so help me God !!!

Amitabh Bachchan