Aishwarya got back from Chennai after the shoot for ‘Robot’, safe from cyclone ‘Laila’, but obviously distressed about Mangalore and the crash, as we all are still. The graphic descriptions of the incident still being played out almost outdoing each other in each channel, is not going down well and watching Tv has been put off. Are there not better ways of presenting the tragedy. Is it really necessary to keep giving us repeatedly mock visuals of how it went down and what each grieving relative expresses in this hour of great personal tragedy.

I have often wondered what the conversation and thinking must be in the minds of those that cover events such as this -

” Get that burning shot and the smoke from the plane !”

” Rush rush, there is a body being taken out, catch that quick, pan the camera to the relative as he recognizes the victim ”

” Get that shot of the morgue and the coffins being taken in ” !

” Speak to the victims relative, ask him how he is feeling “!

I really feel so absurd even imagining this rather conservative mock conversation, but the fact of the matter is that this and worse than this, is what transpires when the electronic covers an episode such as this. Not to mention of course the debates that get initiated by the chief anchors of the station, back in the studios.

I have not put on the Tv since and shall be most hesitant to do so in the days to come. Problem is, one cannot even use the remote. The same topic is on at the same time in all channels.

Most of the day has been spent in preparing for the visit and lecture at the National Defence Academy in Khadakwasla near Pune. It shall be a trip in nostalgia. Many years ago, I think maybe about 1996 we were all there to shoot for ‘Major Saheb’ with Sonali Bendre, Ajay Devgun and Nafisa Ali directed by Tinu Anand a AB Corp production and struggling in all the issues that film making rakes up. The company was struggling in its management. The legal law suits were piling up and all the possible problems that one can ever envisage all came down in one fell swoop. An absolute nightmare. It would not be wise to bring up all these matters now, for they were part of a period which has now been buried and forgotten. Suffice to say that they were not pleasant at all. But what a learning graph they provided for me. The times were difficult to face. They were full of pressures and embarrassments. But one chugged along. Plodding and plucking courage from nowhere, yet keeping a straight face, a straight back and a cool head.

The film gave me an opportunity of putting on the Army uniform, one that I enjoyed immensely and to mix with the cadets at the Academy and to be a part of their curriculum and routine. Those moments were most inspirational, for I have always had great respect and regard for our Armed forces. And this is because I do believe that if there are any institutions left in our country that can truly execute that most required ingredient of discipline within us, it is through the portals of institutions such as the NDA.

Alongside this and along with this has been the soft preparation for the event in Paris. Rehearsing in the quiet of my room, my office, my car as we drive to some distant location, everywhere.

There was time spent at the piano too. It does have therapeutic qualities. Takes one away into a world that is quiet and alone and different. I do not know how to play one, but a birthday gift some years ago placed one of those electronic ones which play on their own. It gives one the absolutely false impression of being in the same league as a Chopin, without even an iota of their talent. The good part is that there is no one around to contradict or challenge the ‘performance’ and so one lives in this false and make belief world, where we remain in a state of self aggrandizement.

The Sunday crowds were their in all their exuberance and joys, only this time their were two appearances. After the first one, within minutes, another mass assembled. So a double.

Fatima, the persistent one from South Africa wishes for a dvd upload for the Sunday meet and greet. She would like to see the visuals of this occurrence, just to be able to determine the actual feel of the crowds. And since I am in the throws of educating myself in the art of computer editing, it shall be a while before you will get to see how security looses its cap and badge and such stuff, controlling the crowds. It is sadly some what hilarious to see your members of the  secure brigade, getting pushed around. They are all, most generous and understanding, but beyond a limit they would all act up.

Tomorrow also we need to firm up Paris and the event, as also the root canal in the tooth. It is the firming up of the location here too, for tomorrow shall be an early start on the road to Pune, large butterflies and all.

Sleep well dearest ones and meet me fresh in the morning -

My love and more to all the forum that constitutes that the most coveted and  deserving trophy should be with them that struggle and strive, that have done so many penances and continue to do so.

Amitabh Bachchan