It is difficult to describe what motivates us to plod along even in the most trying circumstances. The love of the image and the whirr of the camera is too enticing an entity to keep sore and stiff shoulders down, I guess. We live for that moment, thrive on it and wish that it never fades away. But fade it does. By the people or by nature, as it just did for Feroze Khan.

And what remains eventually are sympathetic prayer meetings for the departed colleague or contemporary.

There is one for him today. And that is where we are all headed.

The preacher recites verses from the Holy Quran and extols the virtues and meanings of them. Islam he informs us, is the most modern of all the religions ; coming to the world 1400 years ago and containing messages of peace and harmony and togetherness and love. Speaker after speaker from the family pay tributes to the departed soul. Some close friends too. Minute details of Feroze Bhai’s life, hitherto unknown, are disclosed to a sombre and respectful gathering.

In life it is tough to be perennially optimistic. Tough to be continuously pursuing the desire to change for betterment. Tough to be in possession of a persistent and fearless attitude. Feroze Khan was that one exception. He was a tough guy and lived his life the way he thought it ought to be lived. Not many have the capacity to do that, or even the capacity to perceive it.

Waves on an ocean front have always been so fascinating. Wonder why it happens that we continue to stare at them in silence. What is it about their sound that numbs us into a pensive mode ? Why do some of our most meaningful thoughts collect within us when we are in their proximity. Them … and mountains. Both wonders of nature. One strangely sublime in motion. The other in its stillness.

Unexplained occurrences of some unknown force. God, Almighty, Ishwar, Allah…

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.



One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:



Dear God,



I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?



Sincerely,



Edna





The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.



Christmas came and went.



A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.



It read:



Dear God,



How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those b*!&*!*s at the post office.



Sincerely,



Edna

I think we needed a smile. And that story certainly gave me one.

What failed to give me one was the media behavior at the prayer meeting this afternoon. They have simply no sense of ethics or etiquette, even at a most sensitive moment in the life of an individual.

The way they scream and shout and push and stampede around is atrocious. There is no concern or respect either, for the temperament of the occasion. Their only interest is in getting that exclusive photograph and that exclusive bite - at any cost. Breaking glass enclosures, damaging your car by thrusting their mikes and cameras in and around your very nose ; simply unpardonable.

At the time of the passing away of my Mother, they had the temerity to push a mike in front of Abhishek as we emerged from the ’shamshan bhumi’, the place where we burn our dead, and demanded -

“Toh.. bataiye.. kaisa lag raha hai !!”, ‘So.. tell me .. how does it feel ?’

Incredulous !!! What kind of upbringing and training are you trying to reflect Mr/Mrs/Ms Media. Where is your sense of dignity at this most solemn moment ??

Disgust and more disgust is all that I can muster for them !!

Yesterday, when I am in the middle of my work. In the middle of a scene where I need to concentrate on my emotions. Where I need my mind to be free from all other thoughts. Where my representation is and shall be recorded for posterity. Comes a message from the media. And I have saved it for your benefit.

Here is the sequence of texts -

‘Sir i want to talk to you on yr visit to see mr mehra. Can i cl u? Or msg you three four quest? Or email u? Bit urg. As i have a deadlin . 7 pm. Pl. Vickey . Mumb mirror ‘

I am in the middle of a shot and cannot respond. Within seconds another comes -

‘It is a request. I wd be obliged. Pl let me knw.’

Not wanting to be rude in not acknowledging the request, I, tearing myself away from the intensity of the scene that I am shooting, send a message back -

‘Busy. Send email.’

But no. Vickey from Mumbai Mirror, despite my having spelt out my circumstances, persists -

‘Sir cn i just ask you two three questions on sms? 1. How was his health? 2. were u able to talk to him 3 how did u think of going? Mr mehra has been time and again sayin that he and you had a fallout . Pl if you cn reply to just these i wd be obliged . Regards ‘

By now, even the most uneducated on how media functions, would have deciphered the motive of this journalist and the headline of the story he was pursuing. It was not to pay homage and sympathy to Mr Mehra lying critically ill in the ICU of a hospital. It was to write a trite and malicious piece on a constructed assumption of a fallout between the two of us.

Why ? Because some months back, this very paper or its equivalent, had written a large headlined story on AB not paying any respect to the maker that made his career in the film Zanjeer. A complete piece of filth laced with corrupt untruths.

I remain unmoved and continue doing my work. When this appears on my mobile -

‘Sir may i request u to sms me the reply . I request again

I remain at my work and ignore this. When this -

‘Sir if you reply now on sms and i can use it for tmr . It wil be timely tmr Sir . Please . Regds’

Simply NO concern whatsoever to my response that I was busy. That my work and time needs to be respected. Nothing. Instead more follows -

‘Sir i sent u the email also . Waitin for ur reply . Requestin u again’

And immediately after a few seconds -

‘Sir sorry to bother you but i hereby request you again. Cn you pl send me yr reply soon? Regds. Vickey’

Just the most selfish and adamant pursuit of getting your work sorted out without any care towards the other. A general refrain with most media.

But.. despite this most ungainly onslaught, I remove myself to my vanity van at first given opportunity, connect the internet through my Reliance Card that moves faster than the MTNL Government line, receive his email and reply to his questions -

Vicky,
Herewith my responses.
After it is published do let me know.. As this shall be on my blog. Ethically it would be wrong to put it before.
Amitabh

On 03/05/09 6:55 PM, “Vickey Lalwani” <vmlalwani27@rediffmail.com> wrote:

Respected Mr Bachchan,

Sir, I hope that this mail finds you in the pink of health

May I request you to let me know a little on your visit to Mr Mehra in the hospital

1. How is his health now?
   

ANS//
Prakash ji has been keeping indifferent health for a while. Ever since his wife went into a coma, which lasted several years, he has not been quite himself. I have been in contact with him regularly and whenever we met either at his place ( he is my neighbour ) or mine, I could sense his concern. After his wife passed away he has been even more grave. At her ‘chautha’ he was having problems walking. He is now in the ICU and on a ventilator because of his lung condition. He is on medication and some heavy antibiotics because of the infection. The doctors are saying that his condition is better and improving. I wish he comes out from the hospital soon.

b. Did you and he talk when you went?

ANS//
You ought to know better that when someone is on a ventilator, especially one that has been attached through the trachea you cannot talk. But when I held his hand he smiled and Sumeet his son said he hadn’t done that since he came in.

c. What made you go to the hospital? Mr Mehra has been time and again saying that you and he had a fallout after Jadugar?

ANS//
Your assumption on the fallout is a lot of rubbish ! Stop building stories which are incorrect and malicious ! And stop judging motives of others by your own rather warped and low standards. You are trying to imply by your question that I should not have gone to see him. This is most disgusting. Why does one go to hospital Mr Lalwani ? Either to get admitted or to see someone who has. For your own journalistic credentials you need to review your own question !!

d. Which of your movies with him is your favourite?

ANS//
Every film that we did together was a favourite with both of us.

e. How would you describe him as a director?

ANS//
Prakash ji was a complete director in every sense of the word. He had great story telling and screenplay sense. His approach was simple yet profound in content. He never believed in any gimmicks as far as his presentation was concerned. His camera positionings were simple and straight. He relied on good dialogues, most of which were contributed by him, he being a writer as well. He also had great music sense and did a lot of the lyrics himself. His selection of the music and its placement in the film were brilliant. But his themes and content were his forte.

Regards Thanks,
Vickey Lalwani
Mumbai Mirror

Thank you,
Amitabh Bachchan

And this ladies and gentlemen of my most loved extended family is what he printed in the papers this morning -

Ha..Ha..Ha…

Notice how cleverly he has rephrased the question of why I visited Prakash Mehra, by diluting his inadequate and insensitive question on the mail he sent me.

And by not reproducing my several intimate interactions with Prakash ji, he has kept his side of the story biased against me ; perhaps to pick up at a later date..

My love for you .. and let me not be told by many that respond, that I am wasting my time and energy on inconsequential matters of the media .. they are matters that matter. I may be attempting to push a mountain here, but at least I attempt !!!

Amitabh Bachchan