आयु बिता दी यत्नों में लग ,
उसी जगह मैं , उसी जगह जग ,
कभी - कभी सोचा करता अब , क्या मैंने की नादानी है !
मैंने शांति नहीं जानी है !

पर निराश होऊं किस कारण ,
क्या पर्याप्त नहीं आशवासन ?
दुनिया से मानी , अपने से मैंने हार नहीं मानी है !
मैंने शांति नहीं जानी है

- हरिवंश राय बच्चन

I have not known peace and quiet and solace. There are some shortcomings inside of me. There are some short comings outside of me. But I have resolved that I shall condition both my inside and outside to be devoid of any fault or mistakes. For, I have not known peace and quiet and solace.

A lifetime have I spent in putting effort. I am but at the same spot and so is the world. And I do sometimes think, has there been in me a childish juvenile behaviour. For, I have not known peace and quiet and solace.

But why must I be disappointed with this. Is not my confident promise and assurance enough ? I may have accepted defeat from the world, but I have not accepted defeat with myself ! I have not known peace and quiet and solace.

This from my Father’s work ‘Ekant Sangeet’ - the music of solitude ! This from my Father’s works written during that phase of his life when he suffered great sadness, pain and disappointment. Pain from circumstances, from society and from life itself. They were depressing days. There was death of near ones in rapid succession. There was rejection from attachments. There was poverty and want within. When you have to travel miles on foot to earn Rs 25/- from a tuition it is harsh. Rs 25/- which, in western equivalence is half a dollar at todays prevalent rates, is half a dollar for an entire month !!

Did my Father ever ever realize that the pain of those days, transcribed into his creativity, would find a secure position in the hearts and minds of millions of readers of Hindi. And did he ever realize that one day his son, then unborn, would be printing his thoughts through an internet facility for millions more to read and savor his emotions ?? I sincerely think not ! But that is the strength of the written word. The strength of creation ; never ever given its due value when it deserved it. It is a lamentable fact of life and nature. Genius has never throughout history, ever been given due recognition. When genius has left us and gone for good, then does he invite due consideration and justice.

And I sit and sift through the stored messages from my mobile. They are over 1500 of them in praise and compliment for Paa. Their words and thoughts reflect an emotion that is blinding. But what of them ? They shall evaporate as swiftly as they were manufactured into the realm of anonymity - a temporal phase having no lasting quality. Our contribution, if at all it can be called that, shall be limited, concise, of stifled presence.

Relate this to the written word of a poet and philosopher and you shall realize with immense exuberance - the poet shall live for generations, the other a couple of years ! Which is why I shall never be able to express that I have not known peace, quiet and solace !!

The Producers both prospective and present now barge in with strong compulsions to perform and initiate plans for future projects. They are all convincing scripts and tales. They are impassioned makers waiting to be unleashed. It is just that mentally I may not be ready yet. A dangerous situation to be in. The last time I was in such state, I was wiped out. One must never allow anyone to wipe you out completely. There must always be sufficient fight left in one to face that inevitable situation.

” Go back there ! And don’t you dare come back till you have beaten back your friends that beat you”, my Mother had dinned into our heads. And fight we did and win.

Struggles continue and shall for the rest of your life. Struggle will not remain. What will remain is how you dealt with struggle !!

This is my love … my joy of affection … and of sincerity

Amitabh Bachchan