Music in the ears, loud and deafening, stirs up so many emotions, feelings, desires. At times it almost urges you to get up and start creating something never tried before, never done before. You imagine a real life situation at times, place yourself within it, create your own circumstances and then place the music you hear to suit it. Its a dream you build, a false or fake situation and then imagine it virtually exists. Many would label this as a childish fantasy, but truth is that even as you go through time and distance in life, these little flashes of imagination repeatedly keep visiting you. And sometimes you actually get up and take it upon yourself to build what may have been a dream. Most important inventions they say have had similar beginnings. Mostly achieved, mostly successful.

The point really is to dream, to imagine, to think beyond and then get down to doing it.

I often, in my moments of solitude succumb to the music of expectation and belief. But that is as far as I go. Execution of it takes and requires effort and perseverance. I lack that at times. Until, your back has been pushed against the wall and much like a cat, that when cornered will attack by leaping forward, does one activate his fighting senses in a do or die maneuver.

On most occasions these acts will generate their own impetus. Things start to move and begin to fall into place. Once the wheel has been stirred it rotates on its own axis, needing just that gentle push for it to maintain momentum. And if fate favors you there are results. Once the results are out and hopefully positive, there is public acknowledgement. And the one trait that emerges from it is the recognition by all and sundry of the ‘great fight back’ conducted. One is termed a ‘fighter’ overnight, when in fact you know that there was indeed no fight. Circumstances fought and won and the victory was clothed in your seeming effort.

The world dwells in perception to a large extent. Perception once formed takes an eternity to erase ; that is if you want it to. Many do not. They sometimes feel that wrong perceptions are meant to be not disturbed. Those sensitive enough to the pitfalls of such condition endeavor to come away from it, by rectifying the situation. Others do not.

And I ask today from those of my extended family, is he the wisest that clears perception, or he that shoulders responsibility of it despite, allowing the strength of character and belief to abound ! For at times, in the many situations I find myself in, a battle ensues within me on what my actions should be. At times I allow my mind to submit that work and its quality is the yardstick of my acceptance. At times, indeed at most times in today’s world, I get the impression after witnessing so many examples, that it is essential to go out and clear it, talk it, inform it, seek it, else it shall remain forlorn and shorn of its possible merit and recognition.

In the world of today I find myself being measured by those that have no inkling of measurement, of judgement, of opinion. Yet because they are in positions that carry such attributes, they gain superiority over my own. One often debates whether, if one is aware of such conditions, to even allow misconceptions to creep in. Remain calm and ignorant is the oft given advice. Do your own and not let the other be of any bother. Many in the FmXT extoll such virtuous guidance. I respect those that do and respect their intent, but the nagging reality, that they are not in it as I am, leaves me cold and disturbed. A part of me wants to go and face up. A part of me wants to allow the ‘Gir lions to walk past’. If I could be resolute in firming either I think it would be of benefit. But in the absence of it, I am a stranded swimmer unable to decide whether to swim across to land through shark infested waters, or remain isolated on the island of my being.

Ah well !! My Libran traits shall lead me forever into indecisiveness I guess. Better to get off the boat, chartered and managed by their appointed Captain, than to try and run the motor myself !

Enough no more ..’tis not so sweet as it was before ..!!

So, above, a few more shots as promised of Ooty and MohanLal at work and the hope that by tomorrow there shall be reason to wrap up the schedule and head home. An overexcited crew on set has been exemplary in attitude and work ethic - there is this culture among the film fraternity in the South. There are smiling faces, group keepsake photographs, bonhomie and respect and the desire to serve ; wonderful and admirable qualities that I shall carry back with me. Thank you ‘Kandahar’, Mohan Lal, major Ravi, Chinna Ravi and the entire unit. I have enjoyed working with you.

For me now, I shall put those head phones on again and live in the hope of the fulfillment of a dream ; a dream that music in the ears always seems to prompt.

With my love and my appreciation -

Amitabh Bachchan